You Practically Rock

Preface: instead of introducing myself and telling you about how awesome I am – I’m going to let my resume speak for itself

So yeah, I mean, I’m pretty awesome.

I like you already, want to be my sidekick? You can drive me around be my Kato – unless you’re actually asian then that’s sort of ignorant, instead of being my man-servant (or giving the appearance of being my man servant) you can be something totally not ignorant or offensive like my karate instructor (ed. note – sorry, I meant Sensei.) or you could be the resident wacky genius kid like when Shortround was in the Goonies.. wasn’t that movie awesome?

Truffle Shuffle.. Oh man, forget Asians I need a obese kid.