You Practically Rock


Wherein I discuss how fashion forward I am, then contemplate my future
Cam whore.

Cam whore.

People often approach me on the street and ask me if I’m in a band. I suppose this is because when people see someone in a band they are dressed in super-trendy, avant guard haute cotour, this is probably what those same people who approach me on the street to ask me if I’m in a band are trying to say: I’m very fashion forward

Thinking back on it now I’ve always sort of had people assume I’m in a band, when I was growing up a kid in the suburbs I was often asked what the name of my boy band was – perhaps due to my spiky hair sticking out of my nike visor, whilst I wore an oversized jersey and baggy, low slung faded jeans.

I remember specifically after everything changed on 9/11 people thought that I was a member of Toby Keith’s backing band because of my penchant for wearing Defiant blues, blood-stained reds and patriotic whites. (all made of denim.)

But now, I’m thinking that I want something different, I want to become a ‘new person’ with a ‘varying style’ that no one ‘can really pin down it’s influence’ – like the Olsen twins or the guys from 98 Degrees.

I’m trying to find a new clothing style, should I follow in the footsteps of The Vampire Weekends and dress like a Wes Anderson character?

I actually adore this band.

In Truth: I actually adore this band.

Should I take steroids and spend a little too long in a tanning booth and accent everything with pink? Should I hide my thinning hair with a faux hawk? Should I practice Blue Steele all the time? Should I dig only songs that have enough bass that I can pump through my I-Roc Z/Probe/Mom’s Neon/Mom’s Sentra/Dad’s Miata

Most of my nightmare actually start at Mystic Tan

Most of my nightmare actually start at Mystic Tan

Should I become Punk Rock and get a full sleeve tatoo filled with meaningful symbols such as stars, starlings and a 1950s pin up model? Should I make sure to sneer at stuff and feel that everyone else is sheep, so I lose myself in cocaine and ecstacy because I want to ‘feel something that I’m not supposed to?*’

Should I wear American Apparel clothing even though it could possibly lead to a inopportune nut slip?

At a Girl Talk Concert would I have to use Tape to make sure my nut cleavage didn't fall out?

At a Girl Talk Concert would I have to use Tape to make sure my nut cleavage didn't fall out?

How do you explain your personal brand to your parents?

Can you remain 100% to your self by constantly changing who you are? Or is what you wear only your skin that you shed in order to be reborn as an adult

*actual quote.

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