You Practically Rock

Wherein I talk about my Aborted Mister Miracle TV Show

Sometimes I wish I could go back to the mid-1980s and try to pitch a Mister Miracle TV series. Just imagine how great it would be – Mister Miracle (Scott Free) teaching his young adopted street smart ‘Black Child’ Shilo Norman life lessons along with his Amazonian wife Big Barda and his cantankerous Dwarf Father Figure Oberon, while at the same time escaping from traps sprung on him by a variety of Granny Goodness’ minions from the Armaghetto.

Mike and The Mechanics would totally provide the theme song. (and in one episode would appear when young Shilo participates in a little telephone contest, is suddenly the lucky winner of a couple Mike and The Mechanic concert tickets. Unfortunately, with three eager family members and only one extra ticket, the stress of choosing someone may be too much for this 12-year-old to handle—so Shilo gives up his ticket and tells Shilo and Barda to go. Both won`t accept it and neither will Shilo. So while they were arguing about who would keep the ticket , Oberon answers the phone and it turns out to be Mike and the Mechanics. They all race to the door to see if it really was them. Then the invite them to sing at the stage with them. The family happily accepts and all is fun. But then Baron Bedlam shows up and sets up a trap but they all escape.)

Dude, seriously… I’ve got twenty seven episodes written here, you might as well call the series “Emmy Time”

(I may or may not have stolen this idea from Full House.)


Random Thoughts for Jan. 14th, 2008

What’s up virgins. Sorry but I’ve been beyond busy these last few days, mostly doing things that only I could get away with doing. (Punching out dogs, ghost face killing, watching musicals and writing Knight Rider/M.A.S.K slash fic.)

– I’ve been bored. I’m trying to stay on the clean and sober path for 2k9. I’m trying to find out who I really am, trying to transform myself to be a more ‘authentic’ version of me. Mostly I want to distil myself to my true essence (which is what I used to think came out of my penis when I was young and would have dreams about Zeppelins and Anna Nicole Smith*.)

I often wonder what I really am; could anyone really be simply summed up in a sentence?

– You know how the elderly tend to dress the same as they did when they were in their prime? Or how some women seem to stick with a specific hair and make up style much longer than they should? Do you think this generation will do the same? Will I still rock skinny jeans and American appy thin tees well into my 50s? Will those x-treme dudes who wear volcom and billabong still be keeping it real and Just Keep Livin’ their life? Will they be the black jeans and tucked in t-shirts of the nows? Will I still be listening to Animal Collective in my 80s or will I be listening to some more suitable to my age.

– I no longer have a yeast infection. I miss it. It was something that I came upon all on my own. Like the first TV on the Radio album.

– Is there anything better than porn found on the television when you’re not expecting it? No, no there isn’t. Not even a cure for cancer. Ask most people with cancer and I’m sure they’d be pro found porn.

*Baby girl, I think about you everyday.

Wherein I discuss how fashion forward I am, then contemplate my future
Cam whore.

Cam whore.

People often approach me on the street and ask me if I’m in a band. I suppose this is because when people see someone in a band they are dressed in super-trendy, avant guard haute cotour, this is probably what those same people who approach me on the street to ask me if I’m in a band are trying to say: I’m very fashion forward

Thinking back on it now I’ve always sort of had people assume I’m in a band, when I was growing up a kid in the suburbs I was often asked what the name of my boy band was – perhaps due to my spiky hair sticking out of my nike visor, whilst I wore an oversized jersey and baggy, low slung faded jeans.

I remember specifically after everything changed on 9/11 people thought that I was a member of Toby Keith’s backing band because of my penchant for wearing Defiant blues, blood-stained reds and patriotic whites. (all made of denim.)

But now, I’m thinking that I want something different, I want to become a ‘new person’ with a ‘varying style’ that no one ‘can really pin down it’s influence’ – like the Olsen twins or the guys from 98 Degrees.

I’m trying to find a new clothing style, should I follow in the footsteps of The Vampire Weekends and dress like a Wes Anderson character?

I actually adore this band.

In Truth: I actually adore this band.

Should I take steroids and spend a little too long in a tanning booth and accent everything with pink? Should I hide my thinning hair with a faux hawk? Should I practice Blue Steele all the time? Should I dig only songs that have enough bass that I can pump through my I-Roc Z/Probe/Mom’s Neon/Mom’s Sentra/Dad’s Miata

Most of my nightmare actually start at Mystic Tan

Most of my nightmare actually start at Mystic Tan

Should I become Punk Rock and get a full sleeve tatoo filled with meaningful symbols such as stars, starlings and a 1950s pin up model? Should I make sure to sneer at stuff and feel that everyone else is sheep, so I lose myself in cocaine and ecstacy because I want to ‘feel something that I’m not supposed to?*’

Should I wear American Apparel clothing even though it could possibly lead to a inopportune nut slip?

At a Girl Talk Concert would I have to use Tape to make sure my nut cleavage didn't fall out?

At a Girl Talk Concert would I have to use Tape to make sure my nut cleavage didn't fall out?

How do you explain your personal brand to your parents?

Can you remain 100% to your self by constantly changing who you are? Or is what you wear only your skin that you shed in order to be reborn as an adult

*actual quote.

I’m Lazy – Here are some Music Videos (Part One in an ongoing series)

Donald Westlake R.I.P
January 2, 2009, 6:08 pm
Filed under: 1 | Tags: , , , , , , ,
Why Do The Good Die Young.

Why Do The Good Die Young.

Hmm, I really wanted to keep this blog as something light and meaningful and far away from the grim and gritty real life that we inhabit, but sometimes things happen and people get sad and then I get sad and I realize that part of me life has completely and utterly changed. In saying that the only thing that’s really changed for me is realizing that never again will I read a new book by Donald Westlake.

The man was one of the masters of noir, and his books were a breeze to read filled to the brim with ultra violence and cruelty. I loved them to pieces.

According to numerous sources, author Donald Westlake died on New Year’s Eve in Mexico of an apparent hear attack on his way to dinner. He was 75.

Over the course of his career, Westlake had written more than 90 books, employing a number of pen-names, arguably the most famous of which was “Richard Stark,” under which he wrote the Parker series of novels.

Promo art from Cooke's adaptation of Westlake's Parker series.

Promo art from Cooke's adaptation of Westlake's Parker series.

Westlake was working with acclaimed comics creator Darwyn Cooke on graphic novel adaptations of the first four Parker novels for IDW Publishing, The Hunter (aka Point Blank), The Man with the Getaway Face, The Outfit, and The Mourner. I cannot wait for these but it will be a bitter sweet read.

Westlake is survived by his wife, four sons from previous marriages, three stepchildren and four grandchildren.

You can treat yourself to some excerpts from his books here

I honestly cannot urge all of you to go out and read his books. they’re quick reads, dense with lots of action and beautiful turn of phrases. If you liked Sin City’s murky values I really cannot recommend his books enough. He was also a bitterly clever and hilarious writer, it’s a HUGE loss to fans of crime novels, heck just fiction in general.

Rest in peace sweet prince.

In the New Year Everyday will be “Be Nice to Gargoyles Day”
December 30, 2008, 2:37 am
Filed under: Comic Books, Panel a Day | Tags: , , , , ,
Even large men made of Stone can cry manly tears.

Even large men made of Stone can cry manly tears.

Sometimes I’m really a sensitive person. This is one of those times.

This is the form my depression takes.

Taken From:

Melodrama.. wow, what a cover.

Melodrama.. wow, what a cover.

Fantastic Four #51 (June, 1966)

Written by Stan Lee

Drawn by Jack “The King” Kirby