You Practically Rock


Wherein I discuss what it means to be ‘meaningful’
January 6, 2009, 3:21 pm
Filed under: Love Making | Tags: , , , , , ,

I’m going to be straight up with you Gs; I want people to look back at me and say: “wow, his words really struck a chord in me, he made me realize something profound.”

People constantly approach me on the street and reaffirm my belief that my words, my ‘voice’ is one filled with meaningfulness.

When me and my boys hang when we're older it will be even more meaningful because we're all dying.

When me and my boys hang when we're older it will be even more meaningful because we're all dying.

I’m sort of like a power ballad played at the climax of your favourite prime time teen soap opera. If I was a music video it would involve people looking pensively to the ground with their hands over their faces, then boom, they slowly look up with a wounded look that conveys just how meaningful that moment is to them.

I’m like the best friend who after a crazy night of drunkeness and random make outs with randos you sit in the parking lot of McDonald’s and you talk about how “these are the nights we’ll always remember” and then we show each other our techniques on ‘finger banging’ and then describe the best tug job that we recieved from that rando who was willing to do more but stopped herself because she thought we’d respect her more, and maybe the two of us could have more than ‘meaningful tugsies in the laundry room at a mutual friend’s house party’

There have been occasions where I say something totally profound that people have asked me if they could use it as their facebook status update, or as a quote on their wall. I’m usually very flattered and allow them to do so because for me it was a throwaway comment that didn’t mean much, but to them it’s something that they’ll live the rest of their lives by.

Inspiring words take this meaningful picture to the next level

Inspiring words take this meaningful picture to the next level

(“That Ukrainian stripper bit my penis” is a rally cry for those who feel uncomfortable in strip clubs.. you’re welcome.)

Sometimes I fear that maybe I’m not reaching enough people, because similar to Jesus I still only hang out with the same twelve dudes I grew up with, and have really only venture like 5 hours away from the safety of my Nazareth (Barrie, Ontario) Maybe that’s why I started this weblog because I want the world to understand that I’m ‘there for them’ and that ‘they can talk to me’

Also, It’d be nice to meet freaky girls who are DTF and want to try that dangerous stuff that could possibly get you arrested if you spring it on a girl who’s not prepared for it and or thinks that it’s ‘gross’ and ‘only something a crack addicted prostitute who’s done everything could ever really get her mind around.’

Sometimes I really hate you for being close minded.

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