You Practically Rock


Things I’ve Learned From My Best Friend.
January 16, 2009, 9:06 pm
Filed under: Love Making | Tags: , , , , , ,
Thank you for defending us.

Thank you for defending us.

1. It’s not called ‘rape’ it’s called ‘suprise sex.’

2. re: #1 – ‘[I] love it’

3. Nothing is more glorious than writing someone’s name in ‘firework glory.’

4. Telling children that your camera steals their soul is only funny when the children demand their souls back, and you laugh maniacally.

5. Everyone goes to rub and tugs because sometimes at the end of the night “you’re too drunk to really attempt that shit on your own.”

6. re: #5: “No one wants to fall asleep with their hand on their own penis.”

7. re: #6: “Not that you want to fall asleep with your hand on someone elses penis either.”

8. It’s possible to be number one. number one at sucking on your team.

9. ” I found a french fry in it and I haven’t had french fries in weeks. Okay that’s a lie.”

10.  When a real man shaves his mustache it bleeds, not because he’s cut himself, but his skin is crying for once it was beautiful.

and finally in honor of the man, I’m offering you the recipe to Porch climber*.

6 beers

1 26er of Vodka

Frozen Concentrated Lemonade Mix

Two one pound bags of Ice.

Directions:  Pour ice into  a cooler, then pour in the beer, then the vodka, then the lemonade mix. drink. serves alot of one selfish drunk bastard.

*Why Porch Climber? because once you drink it, you get so drunk that you lock yourself out of the house and climb the porch to get in.