You Practically Rock

“My Parents Are Dead”
January 2, 2009, 7:59 pm
Filed under: Comic Books, Panel a Day | Tags: , , ,
What's Colder than cold? Batman's Momma's bed.

What's Colder than cold? Batman's Momma's bed.


Donald Westlake R.I.P
January 2, 2009, 6:08 pm
Filed under: 1 | Tags: , , , , , , ,
Why Do The Good Die Young.

Why Do The Good Die Young.

Hmm, I really wanted to keep this blog as something light and meaningful and far away from the grim and gritty real life that we inhabit, but sometimes things happen and people get sad and then I get sad and I realize that part of me life has completely and utterly changed. In saying that the only thing that’s really changed for me is realizing that never again will I read a new book by Donald Westlake.

The man was one of the masters of noir, and his books were a breeze to read filled to the brim with ultra violence and cruelty. I loved them to pieces.

According to numerous sources, author Donald Westlake died on New Year’s Eve in Mexico of an apparent hear attack on his way to dinner. He was 75.

Over the course of his career, Westlake had written more than 90 books, employing a number of pen-names, arguably the most famous of which was “Richard Stark,” under which he wrote the Parker series of novels.

Promo art from Cooke's adaptation of Westlake's Parker series.

Promo art from Cooke's adaptation of Westlake's Parker series.

Westlake was working with acclaimed comics creator Darwyn Cooke on graphic novel adaptations of the first four Parker novels for IDW Publishing, The Hunter (aka Point Blank), The Man with the Getaway Face, The Outfit, and The Mourner. I cannot wait for these but it will be a bitter sweet read.

Westlake is survived by his wife, four sons from previous marriages, three stepchildren and four grandchildren.

You can treat yourself to some excerpts from his books here

I honestly cannot urge all of you to go out and read his books. they’re quick reads, dense with lots of action and beautiful turn of phrases. If you liked Sin City’s murky values I really cannot recommend his books enough. He was also a bitterly clever and hilarious writer, it’s a HUGE loss to fans of crime novels, heck just fiction in general.

Rest in peace sweet prince.

Wherein I discuss Comic Books, Coke and Energy.. kind of.
We dress like this for work every other day to keep things FRESH.

We dress like this for work every other day to keep things FRESH.

I work at a comic book store that’s super amazing because they let me sleep in the backroom when I’m too messed off of my anti-depressants to venture outside for fear of pooping my pants, but also because I get to read comics all day long and learn about what would happen to me if my really rich parents were to have been killed by a mugger after watching Antonio Banderes’ Mask of Zorro, or if I was a super powered immigrant from a war torn planet (Poland maybe?) raised by kindly white bread american folks, who would urge me to hide my ethnic powers except when I wear a very flamboyant costume.

Any way, there’s a lot to like about comics, mostly it’s the way that they make me feel like there are heroes in this world who wear capes (unlike my cousin Reggie who wears a cape to the beach because he’s ashamed of his Bacne) and that sometimes having a black and white view of the world is a good thing.

I think a lot about Batman, probably more than I or any person should. I know everything about him – everything, Hell Grant Morrison’s Batman run has been completely readeable and understandeable to me. But the truth is he is not my favourite super hero. Nope, not even close.

No my favourite Superhero is Mister Miracle: Super Escape Artist.1616068850_b9eb108223_o

That’s right. Perhaps the craziest thing that Jack Kirby ever created. (which when taking into account that this guy created most of the Marvel Universe, something called Devil Dinosaur, Kamandi the Last boy and my personally favourite: OMAC.)

Okay, so here’s the deal with Scott Free (aka Mister Miracle) – He’s the son of a New God, who traded him to another New G

.....for real ...this is an actual panel.

.....for real ...this is an actual panel.

od (an evil one named Darkseid) so that there planets could have a shakey if not totally reasonable peace agreement. Scott was raised in a Dicken’s like Orphanage called the Armaghetto and was brutally beaten up every day. He then escaped to earth (thereby triggering an end to the cease fire) and became a Super Escape Artist using the skills and equipment he picked up on his freaky torture planet. Oh, and his father-figure is a Dwarf named Oberon and he’s married to a Butchy Amazonian chick named Big Barda who wields something crazy phallic known to her as the ‘Mega-rod’ …and she’s the leader of an elite group of lesbian commando’s known as “The Female Furies.”

The best part is? I’m totally not even close to being jokey or sarcastic.

God I love comics.

So yeah, I’m totally into Mr. Miracle ’cause he’s insanely crazy and each issue basically follows the same story progression; we start with him about to practice a crazy escape that means sure death, something happens, everyone stands around for a few panels being angry that he died then he reveals that he didn’t – he escaped using crazy machinery that Kirby draws the shit out of, then he’s kidnapped by some reject from his old planet who has a crazy named like Vermin Vundabar, Doktor Bedlam, Kanto, Madame Evil Eyez, Supreme Magnificence, etc.. and instead of shooting him in the face and ending it, they put him in an escape proof trap.. which he escapes and yeah, that’s the ending.


It’s awesome.

mISS u!!!?!?!!!?!!?!?!

mISS u!!!?!?!!!?!!?!?!

Every panel is draw with a crazy amount of energy that if Hipsters could bottle it, it would could replace the vancancy left by the banning of Sparks and Coke (Coke Farts are making the Girl Talk concerts a lot less fun for me to go too.. for real.)

An Early Christmas Present From Me to You
December 22, 2008, 11:47 pm
Filed under: Ballsack | Tags: , ,

We’re in pretty heavy white-out country here, so curl up with the one you love, the one who’ll hold you close without judging you – and watch the ultra-violence that is Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky.

Sometimes Revenge is the only way to keep warm.

Merry Christmas

Updated!!! with clip so you can realize just how awesome this movie is!